Celebrating the Superior Species

Women's Day is Every Day - Don't Let the Calendar Fool You....

I often ask myself, what moment launched my little gay boy fascination with powerful women? Was it watching Charlie’s Angels effortlessly switch disguises before hitting their signature pose? Maybe it was Cady Heron’s iconic descent from her staircase in her final plastic form. Or perhaps it was Uma Therman in that yellow leather jumpsuit?

In my confused, closeted, and cluttered brain – one thing was for certain– I like boys, but women were superior. And as I got older, my admiration for women only got stronger. From eavesdropping on my sister and her friends any chance I could, or finally getting invited to an all-girl sleepover but having to lie to my parents about it. I literally couldn’t stay away. Hell, my parents even transferred me from a small Catholic school to a public school, hoping I’d find more guy friends. Jokes on them—public school just gave me a bigger pool of girlies in need of a gay bestie (and this time, I could wear whatever I wanted).

In school I was always drawn to the girls who had their lives together—or at least made it look like they did. Their handwriting? Practically a masterpiece. Their grades? Impeccable. And their social lives? Always buzzing. I loved being around them because they made it cool to strive for greatness. They normalized wanting the best grades, acing that exam, being a force in sports or extracurriculars, and doing it all with curled hair that they woke at 5am to do! Unlike the boys I would see who thought it was cool to fail classes and not shower – hmmm wonder where they are now. Girls taught me that it was okay to want to be great—and it was even better when you had a whole crew of women pushing you to do the same.

But it wasn't until I became a cheerleader that I truly felt like one of the gals. I mean, me? In a women-dominated sport? It felt like I had tricked the system, discovered a loophole, and hit the jackpot. I could hang out with all my girlfriends and live out my passion for performing. At first, I was half-convinced someone was going to tap me on the shoulder and say, “Nice try, but nope.” But that never happened. Instead, I was immersed in something I had always longed for—an environment full Victoria’s Secret Pure Seduction, burnt pin-straight hair, and fake tan.

Looking back, I can’t believe how much that moment meant to me. It might not seem like a big deal now, but for a little gay boy from Hicktown, USA, being surrounded by powerful women all day was EVERYTHING. It was like I stepped directly into a Venus razor ad. She’s got it! Finally those years of rehearsing hypothetical conversations in the mirror with a towel on my head was paying off. Sure, we spent hours lifting each other up—physically—but the real magic was in how we lifted each other up emotionally. Every practice, every competition, I was surrounded by women who cheered each other on, not just for a perfect routine, but for life itself.

I grew up with two older sisters, and let me tell you, I spent my entire childhood trying to keep up with their brilliance. I looked up to them with awe—and still do. They made being strong, independent, and smart seem effortless, and I wanted to be just like them. Watching them have the time of their lives with their own friends, I couldn’t wait for the day when I would find a group of girlfriends of my own. And girl, did I.

They were the type of girlfriends everyone wants in their life. True girl’s girls.  

Girls who picked you first for their team in gym class, even though neither of you wanted to play, you just needed to discuss the latest rumor (or start one).

Girls who were right there, standing behind you obnoxiously hyping you up when you kissed a boy at the bar.

Girls who then helped you cover up your first hickey with concealer, but we all knew that did nothing.

Girls who debriefed every morning after a night out – what was said, who wore what, and who got kicked out.

...And girls who grabbed your coat when you were getting kicked out.

Girls who did your makeup when you were on Accutane. Girls who let you borrow their blow dryer when you were in the midst of a fluffy hair phase, even though they knew it was going to take 45 minutes and a small prayer to tame the beast.

Girls who stood up to a man calling me a "fag," even though they were 5 foot nothing and had to tilt their head to look him in the eye.

It’s the little moments with women that leave the biggest impact. I feel this incredible sense of connection to women, even ones I’ve never met. Over the years I feel like I’ve had the honor to sense their energy, their struggles, and their triumphs. Whether it’s a glance, a shared laugh, or a moment of solidarity, I feel that connection everywhere.

From the woman at the grocery store who’ll let you know there's a cheaper option down the aisle—because “baby, we’ve all got to save,” to the girls at the bar who will watch your drink while you run to the bathroom.

Or the woman at the airport who may not have the answer to your question but knows no one else has it either and you both bond over the chaos.

Or how about the woman on the subway who you lock eyes with during a crackhead’s morning monologue of nonsense, and you just know, “Girrrrl, we need to move cars.”

And, of course, the mothers—those who I’d sit inside with while my guy friends were playing outside, gossiping about the latest drama, or belting Britney in the car on the way home.

Women are everywhere in our lives, and they make it all better.

Without the women in my life, I wouldn’t be the person I am today. So here’s to all the women who made me feel like I belonged, who taught me to strive for greatness, and who have made this life so much richer. Women truly are better. And I’ll say it as loud as I can: Happy Women’s (Every) Day!!